Hello Paul
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20/03/2012
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My Dearest "Po Po Nay"
I'm "Alright". Just returned from KL after your brother's wedding.
When down there, I managed to catch up on things from the other "Ah Woo" and also your Mother.
In confidence, the full extent of your "situation" with your parents came to light in "a better light".
At first, I thought it is a very small matter which happens to anyone, especially when we stay apart
long distance, but it quickly dawned on me that there may be something at your end which your parents
may have overlooked right from the beginning. So trivial and tiny that it is not obvious. You may have
indicated them to your parents but maybe, to no avail?
Ah Woo, in consultation with you Mother, has agreed that I may be the person who can break the impasse
because of the close connection to all 3 brothers when you all were small. Remember the times when you guys
jumped on me, pulled me in all directions using me as a bolster when going to bed, and many innumerable occasions
of childhood fun and games. Only the other day, when showering at your house at 8, Birah, I vividly recalled all the
giggles and running around which can never be erased from our memories. Even Pepete could recall those moments
of fun the other day. I couldn't hold back my emotions when I hugged your brother in congratulations.
Percy came to visit me in Penang I think last August. He was very happy too when he recalled the nostalgic past
both in Penang and KL. Somehow, we did not manage to meet and renew our blood ties since you left for your education
many years ago. My sincere apologies to you too for not being able to attend your wedding in KL many years ago. Hope the long
break does not deter both of us from communicating.
When one looks at the scenario many many years from now, we wish from the bottom of our hearts that all are in harmony
with each other. What may be in the way is the trigger point to heal any rift, real or imagined between two parties. So what
is that trigger point? -- the desire and wish to forgive and forget? I can safely say that you never expected whatever that has
happened to happen, and you also do not want this to continue till the end of our lives. You may be wondering how you can
find the right platform to spark off a dialogue of peace and harmony with your parents, but have yet to find the niche. When you look at
your two children, the thought of them not knowing their grandparents well or at all gives you the uneasiness. I'm quite sure
many similar thoughts came across your mind since the problem started.
I am prepared to hear what your thoughts and emotions might be on this matter before trying to guess them. Only and until
I know what they are can I really be of any help to both parties. Unlocking those emotions is the key to unlocking all
the problems which is apparently causing the rift and non-communication. Please do tell me what may be causing the
situation. In the meantime, I shall wait for your reply.
Your Uncle in Penang,
Alright
I'm "Alright". Just returned from KL after your brother's wedding.
When down there, I managed to catch up on things from the other "Ah Woo" and also your Mother.
In confidence, the full extent of your "situation" with your parents came to light in "a better light".
At first, I thought it is a very small matter which happens to anyone, especially when we stay apart
long distance, but it quickly dawned on me that there may be something at your end which your parents
may have overlooked right from the beginning. So trivial and tiny that it is not obvious. You may have
indicated them to your parents but maybe, to no avail?
Ah Woo, in consultation with you Mother, has agreed that I may be the person who can break the impasse
because of the close connection to all 3 brothers when you all were small. Remember the times when you guys
jumped on me, pulled me in all directions using me as a bolster when going to bed, and many innumerable occasions
of childhood fun and games. Only the other day, when showering at your house at 8, Birah, I vividly recalled all the
giggles and running around which can never be erased from our memories. Even Pepete could recall those moments
of fun the other day. I couldn't hold back my emotions when I hugged your brother in congratulations.
Percy came to visit me in Penang I think last August. He was very happy too when he recalled the nostalgic past
both in Penang and KL. Somehow, we did not manage to meet and renew our blood ties since you left for your education
many years ago. My sincere apologies to you too for not being able to attend your wedding in KL many years ago. Hope the long
break does not deter both of us from communicating.
When one looks at the scenario many many years from now, we wish from the bottom of our hearts that all are in harmony
with each other. What may be in the way is the trigger point to heal any rift, real or imagined between two parties. So what
is that trigger point? -- the desire and wish to forgive and forget? I can safely say that you never expected whatever that has
happened to happen, and you also do not want this to continue till the end of our lives. You may be wondering how you can
find the right platform to spark off a dialogue of peace and harmony with your parents, but have yet to find the niche. When you look at
your two children, the thought of them not knowing their grandparents well or at all gives you the uneasiness. I'm quite sure
many similar thoughts came across your mind since the problem started.
I am prepared to hear what your thoughts and emotions might be on this matter before trying to guess them. Only and until
I know what they are can I really be of any help to both parties. Unlocking those emotions is the key to unlocking all
the problems which is apparently causing the rift and non-communication. Please do tell me what may be causing the
situation. In the meantime, I shall wait for your reply.
Your Uncle in Penang,
Alright
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26/03/2012
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Hi Alright!
Yeah, I heard from Percy the wedding was nice. It's really unfortunate that I can't make it there.
I did message Peter, and I hope he understands the situation.
So,
I guess Mommy did share with you the unfortunate event which triggered
the whole conundrum. It was definitely unpleasant for both sides but
what happened has happened. For us here, we are still haunted by what
has happened and are still at a very fragile state. And I do understand
everyone calling up and saying to forget what has happened. I guess our
actions of not calling back is what's being judged at the moment, but
for me now, being a father of 2 and having my own family, I don't think I
can put them through another situation like that. I don't think I
should give you my version of details of what happened as it would be
unfair for you, and you would have heard it from Mommy as well.
We are happy here at the moment and I do want to
keep it that way. Kids are doing fine and we spend a lot of time looking
after them. Lucas starts school next year. Time passes really quickly.
I hope you'll understand what we are going through and we just hope that with time, this will heal...
Regards to Kam Mo and trust that everything is well and good in Penang and still enjoying the food.
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26/03/2012
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I think I received an MMS from you the other day, but because I didn't subscribe the service, that's why whatever you may have
sent is not saved in my phone. I saw your name and phone number. It's ok, and thanks anyway.
Based on your frank reply, I fully understand your position on the matter (relationship with your parents). What strikes me most is
your preparedness to go the long haul "to heal" -- meaning, to let things cool down for awhile before allowing things to return to normalcy.
Probably, at the moment, it's simply not the "right time." I'm encouraged by it all! Never mind what happened at Melbourne sometime ago, but what appears to be more important is the kids which need both your care and nurture. Fully agree. Because Alright is also like you -- in the face
of crisis or uneasiness, I must maintain control of the situation and not allow circumstances dictate what is right for me. In terms of the timing in
"making peace" again, only you and Joyce can determine. No one else. I leave it to you both.
Kam Mo has constantly thought about you and your Family. She is still being employed, and both of us have no regrets in whatever "wrongs"
we may have done to many around us. Because our lives were guided by certain basic principles were we able to pull ourselves out of
difficult situations. So we do understand both your situation Down Under.
To tell you frankly, your Mummy was worried about how your Dad may handle himself on the night of Peter's wedding dinner. Knowing what
he's made of, he seems to cleverly hide his inner feelings without allowing the alcohol consumption get the better of him. Fortunately,
the Viets were not as aggressive that night and was pretty much well-behaved. However, my perception tells me your Dad was disappointed
with your absence but his busy activities make things looked normal. Quite a few relatives asked me about you -- I answered you were busy
with the kids or something like that.
Please do pen a few words whenever you're free, and take care. Thanks for replying.
Uncle Alright.
